Our main objective here at the National Coach Academy is to enable aspiring coaches to reach their full professional potential. One of the most effective ways to educate students about the world of coaching is by offering them a window into the world of real, practicing coaches and showing them all the different ways coaches make a difference in the lives of their clients.
We hope today’s interview adds another insightful glimpse into the dynamic world of coaching.
Today we are interviewing Michael Parise. Michael is a “Be A Success”, Life & Spirit Coach based in Tampa Bay, Florida.
NCA: Can you describe your coaching practice and the kinds of clients you typically work with?
Michael: My coaching practice is primarily for individuals and I also give talks to groups, which is a helpful way of discovering new clients. I’ve been coaching for almost 10 years now. The individual clients I have come from a wide variety of backgrounds. I tend to coach people who feel overwhelmed or who are dealing with change. These issues can lead people to think they are not successful in work or in life. I help them discover what saboteurs may exist in the background that are making their lives unnecessarily complicated.
I’m convinced that it’s not just the issue itself that appears on the surface. It’s always something much deeper that usually goes back to childhood and I intuit that to bring it out into the open. I help people to see that there’s a relationship between how they’re showing up in the world right now and how they’ve been treated as children and teenagers. Very often, they will be carrying with them residual effects of trauma and stress or childhood emotional neglect or of a dysfunctional family life. They can’t help but bring the past into the present a client’s professional and personal life. I get behind all of that and try to help them see the connections between feeling unsuccessful now, and the conditioning and stories from the past that led them there.
NCA: In working with your clients, what would you say is the most rewarding part of that process and on the flip side of that, what is the most challenging aspect of the work that you do?
Michael: It’s always the ah-ha moment that is a great reward. When I help someone see something that they hadn’t seen before or begin to perceive things with a new perspective that seemed previously impossible, they change their behavior and find greater success and happiness and balance in life — those are always wonderful moments
The challenge is, number one, that anyone who wants to be a coach needs to have a coach. That coach needs to be challenging, a person who will delve into the deeper aspects of your personal and professional life. This way you come to the table a more complete individual as a coach.
Second, something that coaching preparation rarely teaches is business. Coaching is a business, it’s not just a service. If you want to make any money, you’ve got to run a business; and you are the product you’re selling. That means you need a business and how you’re going to be managing yourself and your coaching clients.
By “business,” I do not mean creating programs that are supposedly going to bring you six figures, as often promised by online coaching programs. Very few coaches make close to six figure salaries. Most coaches statistically average about $60,000 a year. If you want to be a coach, I do not recommend quitting your “day job.”
Most young people in their 20s and 30s who have been in business are trained to conceal the negative for fear that it might be perceived as failure on their part. I’m sorry, people. If you can’t see your failures as opportunities, without judgment or fear, then you’re never going to be a success.
Third, some coaches will say, “Oh, Michael, you’re being very negative. You’re not putting intentions out into the universe.” Well, okay, that’s important, but not the full picture. I’m also realistic. It’s important to know how you want to run your business as a coach. You may even pay a business coach to help you. But beware of those who promise the world and expect you to pay $10,000 with a promise of 50 new clients.
We all need to be careful with whom we associate ourselves, especially tempting offers we see on social media. For example, on LinkedIn, I’ve received dozens of invitations to connect by those promising the perfect method for getting clients. I ignore them. Be careful. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Most young people in their 20s and 30s who have been in business are trained to conceal the negative for fear that it might be perceived as failure on their part. I’m sorry, people. If you can’t see your failures as opportunities, without judgment or fear, then you’re never going to be a success.
The fourth thing I would tell new coaches is that you will feel discouraged at times. There will moments when you have plenty of clients and everything’s wonderful. Then there will be times when your client base will seem to dry up. You’ll wonder if you’re a failure. That’s the nature of coaching. There’s a lot of up and down.
It’s important to have confidence in yourself and constantly look at new ways to approach your ideal clients. It’s important to find out what fits into your lifestyle, your temperament, your personality, and your way of coaching. You don’t have to fit into someone else’s model. You can create your own model.
The fifth issue is big: Don’t compare yourself to other coaches. There is no such thing as competition among coaches because you’re offering a unique individual, yourself. You will discover your own, personal following. There are enough people around who need coaches who will find you.
Sixth, remember that most people in business, including life coaches, stretch the truth in public about their success. I’ve been to coaching meetings where more than one person will fluff up themselves: “Oh, I have more clients than I can handle and I have so much business and I’m just doing fabulously, blah, blah, blah, blah.” Meanwhile I’m thinking: “If you have too many clients, give the extras to me!”
I try always to tell the truth, privately and publicly. It may not always be attractive, but I will tell you exactly what’s going on in my life—even the seemingly unsuccessful bits. Most young people in their 20s and 30s who have been in business are trained to conceal the negative for fear that it might be perceived as failure on their part. I’m sorry, people. If you can’t see your failures as opportunities, without judgment or fear, then you’re never going to be a success. So, don’t tell me your professional credentials; I will not be impressed. I’ll be more impressed by your character, your curiosity, and your willingness to listen actively.
NCA: One of the most common challenges new coaches face is self-doubt. Some coaches call it Imposter Syndrome, where early on they feel somehow inadequate to take on the role of coach. What is one piece of advice that you would give to somebody who is in the beginning stage of their coaching career and dealing with these doubts in their mind?
Michael: Some self-doubt will never disappear because if you care about your clients you’ll always wonder, “Did I do the best job I could have done?” Every client is unique and may surprise you with matters you never imagined. There’s always a learning curve with every single client, so don’t be afraid of that.
Don’t undersell yourself. Charge what you think you deserve as a professional, and not as an intern. Discover what other coaches charge and price accordingly. When you undersell yourself, you’re telling prospective clients that you’re not worth coaching with.
The last thing is to know when you need to get away from a particular style of coaching or of marketing yourself. If you’re finding yourself stressed out and you’re starting to think, “Oh, I really hate doing this,” it’s time to step back. Get some advice. Get some time off. Get some time to think about, “What is it that I really want?”, and ask yourself some important questions so that you’re not getting jaded and cynical about the process, which is very easy to do when you’re working alone and working for yourself.
