Our main objective here at the National Coach Academy is to enable aspiring coaches to reach their full professional potential. One of the most effective ways to educate students about the world of coaching is by offering them a window into the world of real, practicing coaches and showing them all the different ways coaches make a difference in the lives of their clients.
We hope today’s interview adds another insightful glimpse into the dynamic world of coaching.
Today we are interviewing Dave Berman. Dave is a laughter coach, consultant, published author, and public speaker.
NCA: Can you describe your coaching practice and the kinds of clients you typically work with?
Dave: I am a life and laughter coach. I help people discover that laughter is a birthright. They are born with it and they have access to it their entire life and it doesn’t have to depend on the external condition of funny. While they are great, we don’t need jokes and comedy and humor to be able to laugh. We can actually choose to laugh on purpose and the body doesn’t know the difference from laughing at something funny.
There’s a ton of health benefits from laughing on purpose and it’s also a fabulous means of self-care and self-discovery. I’m helping people discover not only their laughter but what else is unconditionally available to them as a birthright. Things like resilience and confidence and spontaneity and creativity and playfulness.
The people who I work with are reconnecting with their passion. Finding new directions, making choices that perhaps they’ve been holding themselves back from making even though they’ve been saying they really want to. Could be launching or upleveling their career, improving a key relationship, finding an alternative to stress, overwhelm and burnout — things like these that are really transformational.
NCA: What initially got you interested in this career path and what kind of degree or certifications did you need to complete, if any?
Dave: I have a Bachelor’s degree in Communication from Cornell University. I was a radio announcer for 10 years and then worked in customer support for a few tech startups. Later, after exiting a business partnership with my ex-wife, I realized I wanted to get back to making a living from my words.
Unlike in radio, I really wanted to talk one to one with people, and so I began studying coaching, NLP, hypnosis, mindfulness, and a variety of other ways of helping people kind of settle down and check in with what’s going on inside.
I received certifications as a coach, an NLP practitioner and master practitioner, a hypnotherapist, a Laughter Yoga Leader and Teacher, and none of that stuff matters one bit. I don’t get asked about certifications at all by clients and I don’t consider the pieces of paper to be significant in my readiness to help people. If someone calls and is interested in working with me, I’m going to take time to get to know them a little bit and understand where they’re at and where they want to go in life. If I don’t think I am the right person to help them, I’m going to refer them to somebody else. It’s a process all coaches should be open to.
I help people discover that laughter is a birthright. They are born with it and they have access to it their entire life and it doesn’t have to depend on the external condition of funny. While they are great, we don’t need jokes and comedy and humor to be able to laugh. We can actually choose to laugh on purpose and the body doesn’t know the difference from laughing at something funny.
NCA: What is the most rewarding part of your career and on the flip side, what is the most challenging aspect of the work that you do?
Dave: The best part is seeing people have insights. I mentioned self-discovery — this is what it’s all about. It’s not telling people things or teaching people things. It’s creating a space in which people will realize things for themselves.
The challenge is sometimes, people are so closed off to their breath and the present moment that laughing seems like such a bizarre thing even though it’s natural and everyone does it and has been doing it since they were a baby. Sometimes the laughter doesn’t lead the way. Sometimes it’s something people come around to eventually. But if we are really open to it, it can be impactful anywhere along the way from being an icebreaker to being a game changer.
NCA: What’s the most effective technique that you found that can help clients rediscover their laughter and reconnect with their passions
Dave: The most important thing I do, and that any coach or therapist or any other kind of change worker can do is listen. Listen with nothing on your mind. Listen to understand how another person creates their perception of reality. You’ve got to get their world and meet them there. That’s the first thing.
The second thing specifically about laughter is coming to understand that laughter is the sound of joyful breathing. We don’t need jokes and comedy and humor although there’s nothing wrong with that and it’s wonderful to have a sense of humor. I like to be playful with people and I may make jokes but what I’m aiming to help them understand is that we can simply breath in. [laughing] And breath out.
I’m listening to people and I’m calibrating how I’m going to engage with each individual.
Laughter, breathing and listening — these are all very flexible means of engaging with people. There’s not a script or a formula for it. There’s not really somebody who taught me exactly how to do what I do. I’m combining influences from a variety of what might be called modalities or disciplines or teachings and I’m ultimately just showing up as me and being authentic, genuine, and real which is what I want my clients to experience of both me and of themselves.
Think about who you would enjoy spending time around. You want to love your clients — like really, really love them and enjoy their company. You should recognize who would allow you to have that kind of experience while doing your work, then you can kind of reverse-engineer who’s in your niche.
NCA: Did you have a mentor that was instrumental to your wanting to become a coach or perhaps becoming a better coach and in what ways did this mentor help you thrive in your coaching career?
Dave: I can tell you about two people who have been important to me in finding my way to what I call “the playful path.” One is Dr. Madan Kataria. He’s the founder of the global Laughter Yoga movement. My origin in the exploration of laughter has come from the tradition of laughter yoga and Dr. Kataria’s teachings but it has also transcended that.
The other person is Jamie Smart, who is a very successful coach, teacher, trainer and author and I continue to learn about coaching and other real-life lessons from Jamie.
In May 2017 I had an insight. It began to look to me that both Dr. Kataria and Jamie Smart share big picture visions that end up in the same place – a happier, healthier, more peaceful world free from psychological suffering.
I started to see this double helix shaped intertwined relationship between intentional laughter and what Jamie calls “subtractive psychology” — also known as the inside out understanding. The more I explored the intersections of those two things — the inside out understanding and unconditional laughter — the more my current way of working with clients just naturally emerged.
NCA: What is one piece of advice that you would give to somebody in the beginning stage of becoming a coach?
Dave: Think about who you would enjoy spending time around. You want to love your clients — like really, really love them and enjoy their company. You should recognize who would allow you to have that kind of experience while doing your work, then you can kind of reverse-engineer who’s in your niche and what are their challenges, what are their goals and how can you create messages that invite such people to make themselves visible to you. You want them to be seeking you out. You want them to be drawn to you. Think about who you really want to spend your time around.
